Does Money = Love in a Marriage?

I read an interesting article yesterday on the Sunday Times Lifestyle about couples planning their special wedding. I read about how one couple spent $160,000 celebrating their grand wedding at Sentosa Cove. I was also intrigued at how another couple spent only $900 on their entire wedding (it was for 30 close friends/relatives at their flat).

The interesting thing is that the couple that spent $900 on their wedding were not poor. Their household income was over $10,000 a month. They believed that spending more money was not necessary in making their wedding special. What made it the most special was the people who are invited and celebrating it in a place where they could feel comfortable and intimate (their own home).

While there is nothing wrong with spending a lot of money if you can afford it, I really admire this couple for making decisions based on what they believe will make their marriage special, and not what others may think…bowing to societal pressure of holding it in a grand hotel, where it becomes so impersonal.

I will not be surprised if the $900 couple ends up having a much happier and longer lasting marriage than the $160,000 couple. When love between a couple is truly strong, how much you spend making each other happy is really not important.

I have been married for 13+ years and every year, my wife and I give each other birthday presents costing less than $5- a hand made card written with all the words of gratitude, love and appreciation for each other. Whenever I ask my wife what she would like on her birthday (I’d buy anything for her), she always tells me that a hand-made card from the heart is all she wants.
Adam Khoo, Singaporean entrepreneur, best selling author, trainer

Who to please

Many of us, though, find that other people’s expectations can begin to rule our lives. In some ways, this is a natural thing: as humans, we’re social creatures, and it’s hard to risk being derided or excluded by community. Some of us are also people-pleasers: as children, we delighted in praise from parents and teachers, and we continue seeking this as adults.

I accidentally found this pretty good story about “The Man, the Boy, and the Donkey”. A Man and his son were once going with their Donkey to market. As they were walking along by its side a countryman passed them and said: “You fools, what is a Donkey for but to ride upon?”

So the Man put the Boy on the Donkey and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said: “See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides.”

So the Man ordered his Boy to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn’t gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other: “Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along.”

Well, the Man didn’t know what to do, but at last he took his Boy up before him on the Donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The Man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The men said: “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey with you and your hulking son?”

The Man and Boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole, tied the donkey’s feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met them till they came to Market Bridge, when the Donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the Boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle the Donkey fell over the bridge, and his fore-feet being tied together he was drowned. “That will teach you,” said an old man who had followed them: “Please all, and you will please none.”

The point isn’t hard to grasp, trying to please everyone is impossible, and will result in failure to please anyone (especially yourself). If you’re trying to live up to all the expectations that crowd in on you (from parents, friends, and society at large), you’ll end up feeling miserable because you’re not living the life you want to live.

That Kind of Love

A poor man lived with his wife. One day, his wife, who had very long hair asked him to buy her a comb for her hair to grow well and to be well-groomed. The man felt very sorry and said no. He explained that he did not even have enough money to fix the strap of his watch he had just broken. She did not insist on her request. The man went to work and passed by a watch shop, sold his damaged watch at a low price and went to buy a comb for his wife. He came home in the evening with the comb in his hand ready to give to his wife. He was surprised when he saw his wife with a very short hair cut. She had sold her hair and was holding a new watch band. Tears flowed simultaneously from their eyes, not for the futility of their actions, but for the reciprocity of their love.

To love is nothing, to be loved is something, but to love and to be loved by the one you love.. that is everything. Never take love for granted.

Over-obsessed

 

Venice has its fabled canals and Istanbul with its amazing Grand Bazaar. Seoul, on the other hand, is known for its Beauty Belt. The city isn’t just the capital of South Korea, it is also swiftly gaining a reputation as the beauty and plastic surgery capital of the world. The Beauty Belt, which boasts hundreds of cosmetic clinics, is essentially a marketplace for plastic surgery. Procedures performed here range from a basic nip and tuck to far more invasive and serious surgeries like the double-jaw surgery, which involves rearranging the jaw line to create the coveted ‘V’ shaped face.
Located in the posh Gangnangu district of Seoul’s southern region, the Beauty Belt is basically a one-stop zone for customers interested in artificial physical transformation. With over 400 beauty clinics, the Belt has increased medical tourism to South Korea over the last few years and sparked an influx of foreigners, especially Chinese from China, who are eager to enjoy the cutting edge technology.
In a country that boasts one of the fastest growing economies in the world, it isn’t enough to look beautiful, one has to appear flawless. Beauty, in other words, is a NATIONAL OBSESSION.

Park Min Young - admitted that she got eyelid surgery and a nose job. I'm thinking jaw-contouring as well

In South Korea, beauty is believed to open many doors, especially for women. Young girls dream of the day when they can get their eyes and their nose done, and appear more attractive. Some of them admit that a pretty face is key to clinching a good job or landing the spouse of choice. While these ideas might seem strange to outsiders, it should not come as a surprise as many cultures around the world place a premium on external beauty. Venezuelans are equally famous for such attitudes and are said to visit beauty surgeons more often than they visit a dentist.

The most requested procedure is probably the double eyelid surgery. Many Asians are born with single eyelids that can often look "hooded." A quick slice and sew up can drastically change the appearance of someone's entire face. This procedure has become so common that most Koreans don't even consider it a plastic surgery, it's more like getting braces. It isn’t unusual to spot women, just out of the clinic, going shopping while wearing masks or sunglasses. Many teenagers are even offered cosmetic surgery from their parents as a reward for doing well in their exams.

Yuri from SNSD, she definitely got eyelid surgery

Park Bom from 2NE1, sad to say but she looks prettier before got her eyelids done. I always wonder how she looks like in person because on camera she constantly looks swollen. She's obviously getting all kinds of injections and.. implants in her eyelids?

Another popular surgery is a fat injection under the eyes. Under eye bags are considered cute in Korea because they cause what are known as "eye smiles," crescent shaped eyes when smiling. This is so ironic because many American surgeons perform just the opposite, blepharoplasty, a procedure to remove eye bags. 

Tiffany from SNSD with her eye smiles

Also popular is "jaw contouring" surgery. Sounds really scary right? Basically the surgeon will shave down the jaw bone for a slimmer face. Anyway, I find it funny when guys say they hate "fake" or "plastic" girls because honestly, how many of them would actually turn down a date with a gorgeous Korean pop star or actress?

They got jaw-contouring & eyelid surgery

Botox. This isn't included as a surgery, but you can bet that almost every Korean celebrity gets it. Models, actors, and pop stars have been known to get Botox as early as 14 years old as a "preventative" measure. Park Min Young admitted to getting Botox injections in her cheeks for her role as Kim Nana in City Hunter in order to have a plumper face.

Park Min Young for Giorgio Armani. Flawless

The current boom in the cosmetic and beauty industry of South Korea shows no signs of stopping but there are costs and consequences. Unfortunately, many of these are not positive. For instance, more and more women are starting to look alike, having copied the features of a celebrity or a starlet.

Despite a tendency to glorify the benefits of plastic surgery, it is becoming increasingly apparent to South Koreans that there is a dark side. At the end of 2011, news of a woman who had hung herself after a surgery went wrong, swept across a horrified nation.

Fascinating facts & surprising statistics

- South Korea is believed to have the world’s highest per capita rate of plastic surgery in pursuit of beauty.

- A 2010 survey in Seoul revealed that 31.5% of residents who are 15 years or older agreed to undergo surgery to improve their looks. It shows a 10% increase compared to the same survey that was conducted in 2007.

- A survey by a market research firm showed that one in every five women between 19 and 49 years of age has had plastic surgery.

- The average South Korean woman’s daily beauty routine includes about 18 different creams, sprays and lotions.

- The number of doctors training to becoming plastic surgeons in South Korea has doubled over the last 10 years.

- Plastic surgery is the biggest and fastest-growing tourism sector in South Korea. About 150,000 medical tourists are expected this year, which is an increase from 120,000 in 2011 and 82,000 in 2010. Words: Shantini S
.

 

Adultery

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying. Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind. I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. 
Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed, dead. My wife had been fighting cancer for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce. At least, in the eyes of our son, I’m a loving husband.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! Cathy Ygona

Shake it off!

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well, astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to get out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more, give more, give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from God.

You have two choices: smile and close this page, or pass this along to someone else to share the lesson. God bless us :)

Reason of loving

My boyfriend once asked me why I loved him. I didn’t have a ready answer for him, so I told him, “I don’t know baby. I can’t explain it. All I know is I really do love you”. He said, “Okay”. I bit my lip, and wondered if he was disappointed with my answer. His face showed no sign.

After that, I said to myself, I’ve got to come up with reasons why I love him! I thought of my boyfriend and tried to think what I really loved about him. He’s a great guy. He’s someone everyone will love. He’s cute, has a great smile, the kind that makes you smile back in return when you see him. His sense of humor is amazing. He’s friendly and fun to be around. He’s talented and sexy, and sweet, and thoughtful.

I’ve tried to come up with a hundred reasons why, and believe me, I was able to come up with around 76 reasons! But when I scanned through what I’ve written, I realized, I’m pretty sure there are other people in this world who have the same qualities as he does, great smile, great personality, good sense of humor. So if it all comes down to this list of “why do I love him’s”, does it mean that I should love these other people too?

That’s when I realized, love really doesn’t need any reason. It just is. I can’t tell him “I love you because you have a great smile”. So many people have great smiles, but why HIM? I can’t say I love him just because he has a good heart. A lot of people are kind hearted as well, but why HIM?

I guess it really is true, love moves in mysterious ways. And I can list a whole bunch of reasons why I love him, but that really doesn’t sum it all up. Doesn’t even come close. Because I know that even if I eliminate the items on my list one by one, I will still love him. And I don’t need a hundred reasons to explain why.

I sent him that list. When he finished reading it, he hugged me and told me, “Thanks baby”. I looked him in the eye, and told him. “Baby, I love you for all those reasons I listed. But you know what, I really don’t need all these to prove anything to you. All I need is what’s inside me to know that I love you and you’re the reason why I’m happy. You are my life. You may share some of these qualities with other people, but for me, you’re one of a kind. The man that I love. And I don’t need a reason for that.”
Yes, we don’t need reasons to love.

Best I could do

An old Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

"Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. Love, Papa"

♥

A few days later, he received a letter from his son.

"Dear Papa, Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried. Love, Vinnie"
♥

At 4 a.m. The next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

"Dear Papa, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances. Love you, Vinnie"

source: catalogosphere

Love your Love

1. NOW OR NEVER

Two butterflies were in love. One day, they decided to play Hide and Seek. The boy said: “A small game within us. The one who sits in this flower tomorrow early in the morning is the one who loves the other one more". The girl agreed.

Next morning, the boy waits for the flower to open, so that he can sit before the girl butterfly does. Finally, the flower opened. And what did he see? The girl had died inside the flower. She stayed there all night, so that early in the morning, as soon as she sees him, she can fly to him and tell him how much she loved him.

♥ Tell your loved ones that you love them before its too late!


2. GIVE IT ALL

A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her. The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed. The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised.

That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn’t sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.

♥ If you don’t give your hundred percent in a relationship, you’ll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent. This is applicable for any relationship. Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully.

3. SAND AND STONE

Two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

“TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.”

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped, got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but his friend saved him. After recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

“TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.”

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?”

The other friend replied, “When someone hurts us, we should write it down on sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it on stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

♥ Learn to write your hurts on sand and to carve your benefits on stone :)

Love and Marriage

I wanna share this beautiful story to you :) A student asks a teacher, “What is love?” The teacher said, “In order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.” The student went to the field, go through first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders, maybe there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one. But maybe there is an even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher told him, "That is love, you keep looking for a better one." “What is marriage then?” the student asked. The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.” The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher. The teacher told him, “This time you bring back a corn. You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get. That is marriage."

Barbie Mansion

Jonathan Adler, a designer interior is about to realize every girl's dream and going to be "updating Barbie's bedroom, living room, and here drool-worthy closet in an actual Malibu beach house for celebrating Barbie's 50th anniversary. He took 3500 square foot private Malibu beach house and transformed it into a dreamy Barbie mansion. Some oF the furniture are designed by himself, and several pieces From his own home decor collection. The house also features a Barbie Museum which houses dozens of dolls and art from Mattel's archives, including a rare #1 (1959) Barbie doll, several dolls from throughout the decades and art pieces such as Barbie paintings by Andy Warhol and Donald Baechlor.

      

kitchen and the billiard room

Jonathan Andler designed this room. Fabulous!

The fun place to have fun. Look at the one-of-a-kind skirted-corseted-lace-up-dress chairs! Awesome!

This sitting room is colorful and young. There is a poodle in porcelain, and it's hot pink!

This sunburst mirror which is made From 65 barbie dolls successfully amazed me.

Barbie chandelier, it's made of 30 blonde barbie wigs, so creative.

 

This real Volkswagen New Beetle car is specially customized for Barbie. Volkswagen helped Mattel celebrate Barbie doll’s 50th Birthday by transforming a New Beetle convertible into the ultimate Barbie dream car. From the white custom leather interior and convertible top to the hand stitched floor mats and pink quilted leather lined door pockets and arm rests, even the dipstick is painted to resemble her favorite lipstick. The New Beetle convertible is equipped with a motorized vanity in the trunk and plenty of rhinestone accents and vanity mirrors. Over five shades of paint were mixed together to create the perfect pink color for Barbie doll’s car. You can apply a lipgloss before heading to mall :)